Debunking Mental Health Myths: Navigating Pop Psychology on Social Media

In the age of social media, some of the stigma around mental health and therapy has lessened and you can find plenty of accounts and creators that openly discuss mental health. Platforms like TikTok provide an online community for connecting, sharing and learning about all things mental health. While there are so many benefits to the open discourse around mental health that can be found on social media, there are some  major pitfalls as well. Oftentimes when things become “pop psychology”, or widely talked about in media, they spread like wild fire across social media platforms, becoming oversimplified, misapplied, and just plain inaccurate in the process. So, let's debunk some of those mental health myths, and set the record straight so you can navigate pop psychology on social media with confidence, rather than confusion.

Myth: Mental Health is all about protecting your peace- Strict and Rigid Boundaries are a must!

The mantra “protect your peace” is everywhere on social media. Whether it's a therapist influencer talking about setting boundaries, or as an inspirational quote typed out across a serene background paired with today’s trending song, the message remains the same. At first glance, this can sound like super helpful advice! If I want to prioritize my mental health, I need to protect my peace and set boundaries against anything that could threaten that. While it sounds nice on the surface, behind this advice is usually encouragement of overly rigid boundaries that leave little room for the give and take of healthy relationships. Some examples of these rigid boundaries: Your neighbor asks you for a favor? Say no or your peace and mental health is in jeopardy! Your friend needs to vent? Their negative energy will bring you down! In reality boundaries should be somewhat fluid. If we always have our walls up and can never be there for others, our relationships will suffer. And, our relationships are an important part of our mental well being! Healthy boundaries means being able to recognize when we need time for ourselves, versus when we can be there for others. Healthy relationships are reciprocal. Chances are, if you're there for a friend to vent to, that same friend will be there for you when you need some support. And if you water that neighbor's flowers for the weekend, they may just bake you a delicious loaf of banana bread in return!

Myth: Speaking of boundaries, “It is essential that you ghost anyone who is love bombing, gaslighting, or toxic!”

It seems that “mental health” influencers love to throw around terms like “love bombing,” “gaslighting,” and “toxic” to describe a wide range of behaviors (which may actually be totally reasonable behaviors). What does pop psychology say you should do about these boundary violations? Ghost them! Ghosting has become an extremely common phenomenon, especially in the dating world, where when you’re ready to end the relationship, rather than having a conversation (or even sending a text), you cut all communication, block, and move on. Pretty harsh. But some influencers may lead you to believe that ghosting is not only justified, but necessary, especially when certain boundaries are crossed! The overuse of terms like “love bombing,” “gaslighting” and “toxic” are thrown around in a way that justifies cutting someone off with no explanation because we simply don’t like their behavior. This leaves no room for communication or the ability to work through conflict. Conflict resolution is a hugely important part of relationships, and we miss out on opportunities for growing closer when we jump to extremes. Again, relationships are integral to our mental health, so if we are quick to cut off rather than work through, we can quickly become isolated and lonely.

Myth: Estrangement is the only way to protect your peace from toxic parents!

If you’re on mental health or pop psych TikTok there is no doubt you’ve seen stories about estrangement, you may even get the chance to see from both POV’s of the adult child and the estranged parent. While this may make for juicy content, it is not quite the healthiest way to navigate a challenging relationship. By now, you’re probably noticing a theme- pop psychology is all about rigid and extreme boundaries! This phenomena of estrangement has become so popular that people often assume that this is something driven by the therapist. Parents fear that if their adult child enters therapy, the therapist is going to turn the child against them and talk them into estrangement! While I can’t speak for every therapist, I can say this is certainly not the case most of the time. In reality, therapy is more about helping an individual uncover relational patterns, understand healthy boundaries, and learn skills that can help them to improve their relationships. As stated above, relationships are an important part of our overall well being, and so unless a relationship is truly harmful, it is more likely that a therapist will support the individual in finding ways to connect, rather than encourage turning away.

Myth: Your (insert mom, best friend, boss, etc.) is a Narcissist!

Ah yes, another social media hot topic in pop psychology right now is narcissism. If you watch enough TikToks about narcissism you can probably convince yourself that there are several people in your life who are narcissists! While this could be true, the reality is this term is thrown around a lot with little understanding of its clinical meaning. On social media, the term “Narcissist” may be used to describe someone who is self-centered or attention seeking, selfish or lacking in empathy, vain, and emotionally insensitive. This term is thrown around more as a means to moralize a person, rather than understand the causes and nuances of narcissism. Many of these behaviors that are labeled narcissistic are behaviors we probably have all engaged in at some point in our lives. In clinical terms, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a diagnosable personality disorder with specific criteria. Some of these criteria include a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, excessive need for validation, exploitative behaviors, and more. The DSM also outlines several subtypes. The etiology of NPD is multi-factorial, influenced by both nature and nurture, and not simply a moral failing of an individual. Diagnosis of NPD must be performed by the assessment of a licensed clinician, NOT a simple description of characteristics from a TikTok therapist influencer. 

Myth: Therapy is all about venting and validation. It feels like talking to your best friend!

Generalizations about therapy are found all across social media. This can lead people to have a false narrative of therapy, which may drive them away from seeking therapy, or lead them to seeking therapy with a misunderstanding of what to expect. While venting and validation are certainly a part of therapy, there are many other factors that make therapy effective. A trusting and comfortable relationship with your therapist is essential to the therapeutic process, but talking to your therapist shouldn’t feel like talking to your best friend. If your therapist is sharing many personal details or advice driven by personal experience (as a friend would) this is a sign of unprofessional and unethical practice. Instead, therapy should be focused on your experience as the client, and your therapist should be using evidenced based techniques and theories to inform their sessions. A good therapist will provide validation while also challenging you to help you build insight into your behaviors that could be getting in your way.

While social media can be a wonderful resource and opportunity for community, it can also be full of misinformation that could end up leaving you feeling worse. We hope this helped to clear up some confusion and debunk some of the mental health myths you may have encountered on social media. And remember, if you are struggling with your mental health, a licensed therapist can help. Give us a call at 919-791-5611 if you’re ready to start your healing journey.